Decisions, decisions

I spent the year of 2012 finishing up my novel.  I dreaded finishing it because after having done this a few times, I know that finishing a book also means finishing this part of the relationship.  I am, in short, bereft at the completion of a book.  I miss spending daily, intense time with my characters, I miss the story, I miss the puzzle of it all, I miss the absorption in a fictional world.

But besides all this, I also dreaded publishing.  Anne Lamott says, and I am inclined to agree, that publishing is something you will have to recover from.  My recovery has, in the past, taken the form of years of not writing.  Clearly I needed some way to make publishing my book a process that fits more with who I actually am.  I needed a new experience.

It took me some time to finally decide to self-publish.  Actually it took a very generous offer from a friend of mine to walk me through the process and publish on her imprint.  It’s scary, and exhilarating.  The first thing I had to do was tell my agent.  I expected her to try and talk me out of it, to try and coerce me into traditional publishing, but the first thing she said after I told her was, “I don’t blame you.”  Followed by, “You’ll do well.”

I got off the phone and cried.

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4 Responses to Decisions, decisions

  1. Jen McConnel says:

    Good for you, Nancy! Self-publishing is a scary, exhilarating process, and I can’t wait to see what you discover along the way! Scary choices = sometimes the best discoveries.

    • admin says:

      Hi Jen – Thanks for leaving a comment here, and one of such great support. It is scary, but I also feel empowered. My writing life is my own now, as it should be. But there is much to be aware of. While I no longer have to worry about “writing to the market” I do need to be conscious that not every piece of work I produce needs to be made public. In fact most of it does not, but by self-publishing, more of what would not see the light of day due to the bean counters can and will be published. I am in good company. Walt Whitman self-published. He also reviewed his own books. He would have been a holy terror on Amazon!

  2. Beth Browne says:

    Wow, this is so exciting. I can’t wait to help you promote your book. I look forward to following your journey. I am still waffling on my own decision. It’s *terrifying*, every bit of it and I am looking forward to re-immersion in my beautiful fictional world. <3

    • Nancy Peacock says:

      Hi Beth – It is exciting – and it is scary! I keep going up, down, up, down. But mostly I am determined to go up!

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